Guardian Grandmas

Rio Rancho is in the midst of a sand-storm.

Which is really too bad, because I was looking forward to some mind-numbing work tempering one of my steel-work projects. But high winds mean no starting 1300 degree fires in the forge. Those same high winds and impenetrable dust mean, in the current state of things out there, it isn’t wise to play badminton.

And it may mean that we’ve finally lost Al Gore. He’s out there wandering aimlessly in the storm. But that seems unlikely, after all, he lives in a mansion on the East Coast - or is it the $9 million, Montecito Mansion on the West Coast, now? Hey, everyone needs multiple homes to fly their private jet between. Nope - he's not lost. He's just an asshole.

I can’t help but draw a few comparisons here, though. Like this: The Dust Storm outside is not as strange as the Alice In Wonderland arrival of the SWAT team to protect Obama from a gaggle of grandmas in East Nowhere, Quincy, Illinois.

Hell, it wasn’t even East Providence – or South Boston – or even the South Valley of Albuquerque. It wasn’t the drug-war, drug-ridden country of Mexico – It wasn’t Iraq or Afghanistan and it wasn’t Mogadishu, Somalia, which even Clinton had the balls to visit.

It was Quincy.

Illinois.

For God’s sake!  Someone use your common sense! If there’s a group of old ladies standing around in Illinois – regardless of whether or not they are wearing red – when you use the words “Tea Party” in that context, that may be exactly what it is! They may have been just about to break out the cards and coffee cake, when the shock troops rolled in – in formation! They were moving double-time! In formation! They were frightening the few children who were there, so just imagine what images those kids will carry forward (and that is no joke at all.)

Here's a statement released by Quincy PD about the deployment of their SWAT:


"During President Obama’s address, at approximately 1530 hours, the MFFT was deployed. A group of individuals positioned themselves on the south side of York Street near 3rd Street. This was within the area that was to be kept secure at the request of the U. S. Secret Service agents in charge of the site. Prior to the event only ticketed individuals were to be in this area; during the event it was restricted to the general public completely. Secret Service personnel requested these individuals leave the area and to go back to the north side of York Street. They did not comply. Quincy Police Department personnel made the same requests and again they did not comply. At that time the MFFT was deployed to stand post between the individuals and the site and, if necessary, remove the individuals. Once the MFFT was in place, the individuals agreed to move. Once everyone complied and the site was again secure, the MFFT returned to their staging point. No physical force was used during this deployment."

So yeah, I can see the danger, El Presidente.’ Don’t furrow your boyish brow over these simple ruminations. Those weren’t nice grandmas – they were demon-grandmas; kind of like demon sheep, just with blue hair! They are part of the Guardian Grandmas … they just weren’t wearing their red berets that day. I can see how it would be necessary to call out SWAT, because there’s no way Secret Service could handle that crowd.

Standing at parade rest behind the Guardian Grandmas were neat rows of elite cops in their black armored Darth Vader gear. What a sight. What a statement on how far we have fallen as a nation. What are these clowns doing to us? What’s the next step in the escalation process? We bring grandmas, they bring SWAT; we bring grandmas and cold drinks - they bring armored humvees; we bring grandmas, drinks and umbrellas – and they bring Mark 19 Grenade launchers. Where does it end? We bring grandmas and drinks, umbrellas … and the unthinkable: a card table! And yummy snacks – and they bring thermonuclear weapons.

This is our tax dollars at work – and this is our tax dollars at work … on Crack!

Frankly, dear reader, I don’t know how much more I can say on the subject – except what any of the Guardian Grandmas might say to Obama: “Shame on you!”

I’m going to go have a piece of coffee cake.


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